There is something that has been on my heart lately and I wanted to share now, towards the beginning of this blogging journey. And it may be something that needs repeating at times. I took an extended break from blogging and being active on social media to really pray and check my heart. I want everything that I do to be about my relationship with God and I want him to be the compass in all areas of my life, motherhood included. If you know me personally, you know that I often get very passionate about the things that God has placed on my heart, and I am still learning how to share these things in a gentle way. I am also still very young and there are many things that I have not experienced as a mother, wife, or human yet (and may never).
A big piece of what I share on this blog is the little moments in our everyday lives-our lifestyle. I may often share things about homeschooling, diapering, health, screentime, etc., because this is where we are at in our journey of parenting. I am in no way desiring to be superior and make you feel “mom guilt”; ultimately I want to point you to the Lord-because he is our ultimate guide. Romans 12: 4-6 says, “For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them…” (ESV)
This applies to Christian Mamahood as well. No two good mamas look alike. God has given each of us individual gifts and talents and above everything else, it most important that we are seeking after HIM and being attentive to what He is calling us to in our own journey of motherhood. Especially in this day and age of social media, it is so easy to get bogged down in comparison and let that Mom guilt set in (trust me, I have been there). And just as I have been encouraged, I also encourage you to take these insecurities to the Lord and to ask Him for help. What does He need you to focus your attention on right now? How do the giftings that He has given you play a role in the home you are creating and the children you are mothering?
With all of this in mind, there is a second important piece to this that I want to address. A conversation that my MIL and I have often had is the trend to write off conviction as “Mom shaming” and (even in the Christian community) the tendency to “cancel” people when it doesn’t completely line up with our own lifestyles. Yes, Mom guilt should have no place in our minds, but we also need to able to differentiate between that and when God is actually using someone else or something that we have seen to convict us of something in our lives. I also have been in this position before, when further evaluation of what I first wrote off as “Mom shame”, was actually the Holy Spirit convicting me about something I needed to change.
In the second chapter of M is for Mama by Abbie Halberstadt (HIGHLY recommend reading it), she addresses comparison in motherhood and our individual paths as “good mamas”. She shares Matthew 7:13-14, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” not only in regards to salvation, but also in application our journey of motherhood and continuing on in our salvation on paths of righteousness. Abby says, ‘Jill Churchill, a mystery novelist, famously said, “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” It’s no mystery (ha, see what I did there?) she is one smart cookie….But when you find your gate; you must walk through it and stay the course. Motherhood is much more than feel-good affirmations that there is no wrong way to mother (spoiler alert: There is). That platitude has been the undoing of too many well-meaning, tired moms for me to treat it as anything other than the dangerous untruth it is.’ She goes on to share ‘In fact, James 4:17 (ESV) says, “So whoever knows the right thing and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” Like, whoa. Am I saying that inaction is sin? Yep.”
This was challenging for me to read…but also uplifting seeing a fellow Christian Mama encouraging this accountability. In the overwhelming culture we are surrounded by today, I also see a generation of women rising up to cheer on each other’s individual gifting and journeys of motherhood, as well as pointing each other to Christ and challenging each other to become the Mamas that God is calling us to be. I have not mastered this by any means, but I also desire to cultivate and encourage this kind of community among Christian’s. So again, if I share a personal experience, conviction, or an article or study about why we have chosen to do something a certain way, please remember, it is NOT shared for you to be the Mama that I AM.
I do not have any desire for this; I want you to be the mama God CREATED YOU TO BE. And if that leads us to make many of the same decisions, or maybe just some of the same decisions, awesome! But ultimately I want to be able to encourage each other and point each other towards Christ. In return, I also encourage you to share with me your experiences, convictions, or even articles or studies about your own life. In the end, the goal is to glorify God and not to impress others. Colossians 3:23-24 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ”
Lauren, it takes a woman who fears God and Loves Him in the way you do. It shows in what you write. To point out that when we fail as humans and not do what God intended, it is SIN. I have been on a journey about Forgiveness and Healing. I cannot do this daily without His Mercy and Grace. We all need to find out who we are in Our Heavenly Father.