This week has been a wild ride…but before this week, things had been fairly quiet here. I had started this post last week: My heart feels so full. I’m currently sitting on a chair at the end of our driveway while the sun shines down on me. Kayden plays in the sandbox and I look out over our yard and the green fields surrounding us. Phil is off today and he is making dinner with the windows open and Isa went in to help him peel sweet potatoes. Sometimes our little life feels like a dream. I can’t believe I get to live this life.

Our fall and winter were quiet fairly quiet. A good season of rest and settling in to our new home. Phil started working a weekend schedule after Thanksgiving, which has been a huge blessing in this season. He hasn’t had to work as much as before and we’ve had Monday afternoon-Thursday night as a family (unless he picks up a shift). We’ve been attending a co-op once a week and I can’t believe we are almost the whole way through kindergarten year (homeschooling post coming soon). We are so looking forward to warmer weather and some fun summer plans!

But now this post has a different ending: A lot of people have asked if we are no longer fostering, but we had actually been open since November. I remember telling one of the ladies at our agency that I didn’t realize in advance how much of an emotional roller coaster just getting calls would be. When you get a call you don’t have very long (sometimes just a few minutes) to pray and quickly think through if you are prepared to say yes (yes, you are allowed to say no if the information given isn’t a good fit). And that yes could turn your world upside for a few weeks..OR the rest of your life.

Really, either way, it will impact you forever because letting a kiddo that needs you, enter your heart even just for a few weeks changes you. But I meant more from a literal perspective because you don’t know what that path is going to take. When you say yes, even if you are told it will be a two week placement, it could be permanent (or the other way around). But ALSO, when you say yes…the counties are calling other families and agencies and if multiple people say yes they will look at multiple files and choose what seems to be the best fit. So you might not get that placement and you just need to wait to hear back.

And that happened to us multiple times over the last few months…we said no a handful of times and we also said yes, and it didn’t end up happening. To me, it is such an emotional roller coaster; quickly picturing your life changing (maybe forever) and then prepping the house, while just waiting to be told “They found something else” OR “Yes, you have a placement coming”. This week we had the latter phone call.

And our life definitely has been flipped topsy-turvy. This has been one of the most wild, emotional weeks I’ve ever experienced in my life. This week has consisted of some of the weirdest meals we’ve had in our house, tears (a lot of them mine) and hugs, back and forth with caseworkers, absolutely no homeschooling happen, emergency orders to Amazon (Normally I’d scoff “first world problems”, but seriously I thanked the Lord this week for that 4-6 hour delivery), coffee, and lots of one sentence prayers to God.

The way He has sustained me (us) this week is nothing short of miraculous. And I know we, most likely, have a long journey ahead of us. As Colossians 1:17 says, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” And that’s what he is doing for us. We have no control over the situation and we’ve basically jumped into the novel part way through the book, in the middle of the chapter, middle of the page (maybe even middle of the sentence hah). But God knows. He is good. He is not wringing his hands. And he loves and hurts for his little ones even more than I could ever imagine. So we cling to Him asking for guidance, praying for miracles and knowing at the end of the day, He’s got this.