When fostering comes up, this is the most common objection that I hear. “I could never foster, I would get too attached and it would break my heart.” And honestly I get it. Right now my heart is still hurting over a placement of only 4 months, that we knew most likely was temporary.

However, I would like to challenge you on something. Prefacing it with: I do not believe that everyone should foster or adopt. There are many different roles that we can play-we all need each other. But I would argue that, the people who foster SHOULD be those who get too attached, they should be people whose hearts are going to break for those little ones. Because the reality is, foster children have been ripped away from everything they have ever known and they NEED someone to stand in the gap.

They need someone to be the tangible hands and feet of Jesus for them. In order for foster parents to give these kiddos the love that they need, we need to get attached. We need to love without reservation. We can’t hold back with the fear that they might leave or we might get hurt, because that won’t give the kiddos the love that they need.

And it will break our hearts, and sometimes we might need to step back. But in the end…I have resources that these kiddos don’t have; I have Jesus and I (hopefully) have a community, and I can get counseling and other things to help me through the healing process. But these kiddos don’t have anything. They don’t know how to cope, they don’t know how to walk through healing, and they most likely don’t have hope (yet). So I choose to say yes to getting my heart broken and losing pieces of my heart, because I know those kids already have broken hearts and they need somebody to wade into the mess and gather up the pieces.

I am not saying that just because all of this meant yes for us, means that you should be saying yes. But I would like to challenge you that if the fear of getting your heart broken is your main reason, or biggest reason for not fostering….I’d ask you to really pray about it and hold it with open hands. And also to realize that your friends who are fostering aren’t stronger or more impervious to the pain than you would be. Just because “they signed up for it” doesn’t mean it doesn’t  hurt and doesn’t mean they don’t need support.

It takes a village, and maybe God is nudging  you to fully step into the mess or maybe he is asking you to stand closer to the edge and hold out a branch to those deep in the muck.

James 1:27 “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after the orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

Isaiah 1:17 “Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause.”