Just a short tidbit tonight…

I have never felt the phrase “wearing your heart outside of your body” more than I do now.

I did feel it with my other two kiddos, to an extent..but now…this IS foster care.

Having your life turned upside down overnight.
Loving so deeply and fiercely, knowing that it most likely isn’t permanent.

Wanting to protect them from hurt, but knowing you don’t really have a say.

So you focus on the little moments. The sleepless nights, the comforting of tears and unconsolable screams, pushing back your own fear when they are sick, to care, comfort and get them the care that they need. You tell them over and over how much you and God love them and how precious they are, savoring the snuggles and the smiles.

Praying constantly that your love will make a difference, that God will fill in the gaps, and that this precious one will not get lost to the system. Just another number to people who will never walk through these moments with the little one in your care. Just a statistic that doesn’t have a face to those who make the decisions that may make or break them.

All the while wearing your heart outside of your body…

Knowing your heart is probably going to break (I mean it already has), but willingly doing so with the prayer that maybe theirs will have to break a little less.

(Read about the start of our fostering journey here)